The Right Way to Travel
Block Out Sound
Be prepared when you travel. Since most people are clueless, you will inevitably sit next to an older woman chewing gum with her mouth open, sounding like a billy goat and making those disturbing little popping sounds. No irritated look at her will make her stop making that annoying racket. Also, nothing will stop the loud talker behind you from blathering on and on about his recent snow adventure. You need to either stick needles in your ears to puncture your eardrums or have a good pair of headphones when you travel. Any headphones will work as long as you have some loud music in your iphone. I use Linkin Park’s second record, Meteora, turn it up to 11 and hope the sound will bleed out of my headphones and annoy the gum popper. It didn’t work on my last trip but it did make me feel better.
Here’s how I imagine the exchange would go. The old woman would tap me on the shoulder and say, “Excuse me sir, do you mind turning down your music? It’s rather loud.” My response would be, “Of course ma’am, I will certainly turn down my music the moment you join the human race and stop chewing gum like a farm animal.”
Block Out Sound
Hold your breath
Have you heard the flu is really bad this year? There are so many people coughing and sneezing these days, you need to be able to hold your breath for over 2 hours when you travel. No one seems to cover their mouth anymore when they’re hacking up a lung or spraying nose smegma into the ether. You can just see those germs flying everywhere with every facial explosion. It’s disgusting. How is it humanly possible every single person on God’s green Earth is not already sick? So, learn how to hold your breath for a long time!
Virus
Pay it Forward
When you see a good deed, pay it forward. On a recent flight, a young woman was sitting in the aisle seat in front of me. A married couple made their way down to her seat and the wife asked the young woman to change seats with her husband so they can sit together. I’m certain the young woman thought she would get to sit in an aisle or window seat in exchange for her aisle seat. She was so wrong. You could see the annoyance on her face when she found out the husband was sitting in a middle seat! But the young woman said nothing and took the middle seat with no verbal complaint. She barely got a thank you from the married couple, who, by the way, didn’t even speak to each other on the entire 2 hour and 19 minute flight. Since the married couple didn’t thank her properly, someone on that plane should have bought her a snack or drink or even offered her a piece of gum. If you’re wondering, I did none of those things but I believe that young woman has some good karma coming her way.
Karma and Balance